The Slow and the Living

Currently Reading: Vengeance is Mine! by Mickey Spillane

Yesterday I was NOT at my best. I had one of those days where nothing really major goes on, which is fortunate, because the one thread that links everything together is the fact that you're slow and/or stupid.

Take this for example: yesterday, CC forgot her cell phone, eye drops and nasal spay. She left them sitting here on the desk. I realized this when I turned the chair to watch TV. I put my feet up on the desk and I said to myself, "That's CC's cell phone and stuff." Ok, no problem there right? Wait til you see what came next though.

Self: Wow, she'll probably need this. I'd better text her and let her know about the phone.
Self (after a long pause): No, stupid! You can't text her, she doesn't have her phone! You'll have to call her instead!

At that point I hid all the credit cards and put away anything sharp or pointy, just in case. Fortunately CC had the truck so I wouldn't be able to drive. Who knows what might have happened right?

Self: Wow, an intersection. Maybe I should slow down.
Self: No, don't slow down, it'll take longer to get anywhere.
Self: But the light's red.
Self: It's red NOW but by the time you get there it'll be green.
Self: Only if I slow down. If I slow down it'll turn green before I get there.
Self: Yes but if you speed up you'll get there faster so it'll turn green faster.
Self (speeding up): Yeeeaahhh...that makes sense.

Today's a bit better. I'm not as stupid as yesterday, or at least I don't think so. It's only 1:30 so there's still plenty of time left in the day to prove without a shadow of a doubt that I suffered brain damage as a child as a result of repeated head trauma. :-)