People Keep Asking . . .

Currently Reading: The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett

I keep getting the weirdest questions. Most of them are just plain unanswerable but some are pretty stupid. Right now there are three that I keep hearing over and over. Don't really have an answer to them either, or at least not one that makes any more sense than the question.

Question 1: So, how does it feel to be
married?
Question 2: So, when are you having
children?
Question 3: So, how does it feel to be
turning 35?

Question 1: Married

How does it feel to be married? About the same as it did before actually. How does one answer something like that. You might as well aske me "How does it feel to be breathing?" It's not something you can even really put into words is it? Oh there are little things you can mention that describe the state of marriage of course. You can go into the part about not being lonely anymore. You can get into the practicalities of sharing a bathroom or closet, but how does it FEEL? The only thing that comes to mind when someone asks me this question is a line from the musical Company. It goes, "You'll always be what you always were, which has nothing to do with -- all to do with her." Unfortunately this sort of approach REALLY confuses anyone who never has been in a good marriage or those who haven't been all that happy in their marriage for a long time.

Question 2. Children

When am I having children? Well this is one of those cases where I can put in a little humor and sometimes deflect the question. I'm NEVER having children. You see, it's biologically impossible for me to have children. I simply do NOT have the organs necessary to give birth. When is my WIFE having children? Well that's different matter entirely. I have NO idea when she's having children at the current time. I DO know that it has to be at least 9 months from now. That's basic biology right? So, anytime between nine months from now and the day she starts menopause. Of course, given the advances in science today, maybe we can push that date back even further. Maybe the more accurate answer is between nine months from now and death :-)

Question 3. Turning 35

Do we all get this question? In some form or another I think we do. We get it at 20, that's for sure. And I remember getting it at 30 as well. Only time a birthday actually FELT like anything was when I turned 21. I could legally buy beer that day. The rest? Well hell it doesn't really FEEL like anything. Ok, on some forms I have to press a different check box when it asks my age range. But I'm not so old that I get any benefits out of it. There isn't a discount for people 35 and older. There's no AARP for Generation Y folks like me. Or are we Generation X? I think I'm still in Gen X. Does anyone care? No. Wait, not caring about things like this, that's a trademark of Gen X right? Or maybe I'm just getting so old my mind is going.

What I can say for sure about turning 35 is that I don't have any more gray hair on my head than I did in school. I can say that and even better, it's actually TRUE :-) Oh I'm sure there's a little LESS hair up there but I'm not balding as fast as many of my fellow high school grads. My brother in law, at this point, he was already nearly bald AND salt and pepper gray.

How did I get on the hair thing anyway? I guess your mind wanders more when you hit mid-30. Maybe that's why I have no answer to the "how does it feel" question. It doesn't feel because I'm too old to remember :-)