Dog Washing Zen

Just Finished Reading: Talk to the Hand by Lynne Truss

Tonight I'll finish up my first week as a professional dog washer. Hmm, somehow that doesn't sound quite as impressive as, say, professional airline pilot. No matter. Here are a few things I've learned over the past week . . .

1. It's not the size of the dog that matters. What matters is how hard they can shake water out of their fur.
2. The shampoo may be "tearless" but it certainly is not TASTELESS.
3. No matter how dry you THINK the dog is, they've always got one more shower's worth of water in their fur . . . especially if you've already cleaned your glasses.
4. Most people think dogs with long fur are a pain because they get hair everywhere. But dogs with shorter fur that also shed are worse. Long dog hair is soft and easily removed with something sticky or perhaps a lint brush. Short dog hair actually sticks through the weave of your clothes and takes forever to shake loose.
5. Small dogs are a whole lot more growly and bitchy than big dogs. They also tend to bite more often too.
6. Very few dogs like having their nails clipped. They don't like having their teeth brushed either.
7. Many people who walk or jog for exercise carry a stick or some stones in case a dog comes after them. But if you really want to chase off a dog you should carry a hair dryer. The dogs that aren't afraid of the noise the hair dryer makes will run if you point it at their face and ears.
8. Always remember, there's still one muscle left in your body that hasn't been hurt yet. No matter how sore you are, you can still make it just a little bit worse, especially if your next customer brings in something big.
9. You will always get a big, shedding dog right after you've swept the floor and rinsed out the tub.

So there you have it, the lessons I've learned so far from working as a professional dog washer. There are more, of course, but I really shouldn't make them public. Some are just gross and the others are really just stuff that applies to our store.

Just one more day 'til the weekend for me :-) Then I get two days of glorious rest and relaxation :-)

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