Reality Check

Currently Reading: Lamb by Christopher Moore

I've been watching a lot more reality TV shows on cable lately. For that, I have to blame a show called The Soup over on E!

Each week, the host, Joel McHale, takes you through a really funny wrap-up of everything that's been going on in the world of reality and talk shows. You'll see all the latest outrageous moments from The View, the court shows, even the most obscure reality and dating shows. The jokes are great, as are the recurring gag characters and after it's over, you really wish they'd give the guy a full hour instead of just 30 minutes. Then again, if it ran TOO long it'd lose its impact and wouldn't be as good. I guess this is just a case of "leave them wanting more."

Anyway, I'm blaming this guy for my recent dive in television taste. Just a few months ago when I would channel surf, I'd buzz right by MTV or VH1 or even E! if I saw they were running one of those dating shows. Now, I slow down, pause a bit to see what's going on, maybe even stop and watch for a while. Watch for what? Why for the train wreck scene which will inevitably make it's way into The Soup.

There are three shows in particular that I've been pausing to view because they feature a rather high ratio of train wrecks. Hell last night I was actually bouncing between TWO of them because they were both on at the same time. Over on MTV you have a show called A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila. This little dating game is pure soap. You've got your usual cast of assorted misfits, representing all that is wrong with the dating gene pool but with one little twist. Tila (pictured above) is bisexual so it's not the usual man vs man, it's man vs man vs woman which REALLY increases the chances of some messy arguments.

Over on VH1 was the other show I've been checking out from time to time, I Love New York 2 talk about egos and players and macho men and, well you get the idea. We're talking some serious mimbos here (those are male bimbos in case you didn't know). Watching them strut. That's New York over there. As you can tell from the rather CLASSY set design there, this show is REALLY all about . . . ok I can't keep going with a straight face. LOOK at that woman? I mean, when you see someone like that, where do you begin? Yes, I know, looks can be deceiving and all and to be honest, she strikes me as a generally nice person. A little self-absorbed but then who isn't when it comes to these TV shows. Now, the premise of her show, well, same as all the others. No tricks here. The only twist is that everyone on the show seems to have been scraped off the bottom of the collective shoe of America and I mean that in the nicest way possible. The way these guys strut around like peacocks and get into fights with each other is just too damn funny and yes, lots of train wreck potential here. Last night I just couldn't stop laughing at the "contest" they had. They were all supposed to cool something for New York using her FAVORITE food: RANCH DRESSING! Yes, that's right, this classy dame has a thing for ranch dressing and so the boys were set up in a kitchen to try cook. They were all required to use at least ONE CUP of ranch dressing in their recipes. Some of them were pretty smart. One guy marinated chicken in ranch dressing, grilled it up, done. Others weren't quite as brilliant. The funniest was the guy who did a burger and fries, putting some dressing on the burger and using the rest as a dipping sauce for the fries. She was pretty sympathetic to him at first, thinking he'd actually gone through the trouble to slice up the potatoes to make the fries from scratch. Of course, he later admitted the fries came from a bag. Yup, frozen fries with ranch dressing. Boy how did he manage to stay single all this time?

There are a few other shows I've been checking out. One of the better shows is something called America's Most Smartest Model. What you've got here is a group models who have to go through a series of smart people tests in order to win their "edge" over the others in the second half of the show where they do more model-type stuff. One episode had them working on science fair projects. The winner had the edge in the second contest which involved incorporating real, live geeks in an ad for suntan lotion. I can tell you this, if these people had to work for a living, I mean REALLY work, not just stand around and be pretty, they'd all starve to death.

Oh yes, must not forget Keeping Up With The Kardashians. This show revolves around the Kardashian family, with mom now married to Bruce Jenner. You remember Bruce I'm sure. He was in the decathlon in the Olympics WAY back. But the Kardashian name, you know that from one of two places. Either you remember it from the OJ trial. Robert Kardashian was a lawyer and friend of OJ. Or you may have heard about his daughter Kim who's famous for, to quote the host of The Soup, "having a big butt and a sex tape." Every time he introduces a clip from their show, that's how he refers to Kim, being famous for having a big butt and a sex tape. What's really funny is that I now can't read articles about her without injecting that little aside. Just today there was a blurb about her on Fox News and, of course, I'm sitting there mentally plugging in the guy from the Soup.

Oh, and don't think this has anything to do with CC being out of town again. Oh no, in fact, SHE was the one who got me turned on to the Soup in the first place and she ALSO sometimes pauses at these reality shows.

So why do we watch them? Why do so many people tune in night after night, week after week to sit through this stuff? To watch for the train wreck? Probably but also because, well lets face it, most of these people are REALLY pathetic. It's hard not to feel at least a LITTLE better about yourself after seeing the kind of things they're willing to do just for their 15 minutes of fame :-)