Home Again To Happy Dogs; Most Embarrassing Moments; War Movies

Currently Reading: The Big Red One by Samuel Fuller

Ok, everybody can relax, I'm here :-)

That's right, I'm home now, finally :-) The dogs are VERY happy to say the least. I don't think I've stopped smiling since I got here.

Don't get me wrong, it was very nice of my folks to put me up the past few days. I needed that. Needed the quiet time to catch up on my rest and get used to doing things again. But you know, doesn't matter where a place is, it never can quite compare to home. No matter where you go, no matter how fancy the hotel or how great the city, if it's not home, it's just not the same. I'm home now and I'm already feeling a whole lot better :-)

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Since I was in the hospital, and not on vacation, I don't have any really great stories to tell. Nothing dramatic happened. No torture or anything like that. Hell I was on a clear liquid diet so I didn't even have to worry about bad hospital food. The strongest stuff I was given was beef broth.

That being said, there were a few less than stellar moments during the trip. You have to laugh about these things or at least not let them get to you. If you let stuff like this bother you, you'll end up depressed and believe me, the hospital is NO place to be depressed. It's bad enough all on it's own. I purposely didn't take my hearing aids with me beacuse I didn't WANT to hear what was going on outside my room.

Moment number one came as I was being whisked off to surgery Thursday afternoon. I'd been in bed at that point for over 24 hours, not counting bathroom breaks. I hadn't eaten anything since Tuesday dinner. I hadn't had any of my usual, daily medication either. Why does this matter? Well it all leads up to one big moment: Return of the Exorcist!

I'm being pushed down the hall, people all around me, when I hold up my hand and say to everyone that I'm feeling sick. Feeling a bit dizzy. They stopped. People looked around. No one seemed to know what to do. I told them to get me something to throw up in because I was probably going to throw up. No response that I could see or hear. Second time I was a little more curt. Didn't matter becase right after that I became a fountain.

Now, you would think that as long as it had been since I'd eaten, and considering the amount I'd thrown up the day before, I'd be empty at that point. Turns out I wasn't. I must say, I was rather impressed with both the distance I managed to spray as well as the volume :-)

The next one came later that night, well after surgery. Everything had worn off and I'm stuck with facing this nasty reality that I have to pee, the bathroom's way over there, and I'm WAY too sore to get up.

Solution? Pee jug. They'd given me a pee jug earlier in the day to track how much I was peeing vs how much fluids they were giving me. No problem. Just used the pee jug right there from the bed. Worked great. Just like a bed pan. At least for a LITTLE while.

Late at night, jug is getting kinda full. CC's asleep and I don't want to wake her so I angle the bed a little, trying to move the jug around and then I feel it. WHOOSH! Yup, spilled the damn pee jug all over myself.

Hope you weren't drinking anything when you read that cause you probably spit it all over the monitor :-)

Anyway, that night my attendant earned her little bonus high five thingy. The volunteers give you these bonus smile things so whenever someone does something REALLY nice, you give them one and they hang it up somewhere. It's nice little attaboy type thing. Well she earned it that night let me tell ya. CC managed to get me mostly cleaned up then the two of them changed the sheets somehow. Still not sure how that was possible given my condition.

Best part, no one made a big deal out of it. Talk about humiliating. Pee all over myself. Well, at least I didn't have to clean it up ;-)

The last moment I like to call "marking my territory." I spent so long in bed with these weird abdominal sensations that every time I get up gravity makes me have to pee. Everything shifts and WHOOSH I gotta GO!

Well, I can't make it to the bathroom obviously. I'm not moving very fast these days. CC suggested, before I left the hospital, that we use those adult diaper things that people with bladder trouble use. In the very least, it'll prevent a REALLY embarrassing moment right? Yes, I suppose so, but it still feels WEIRD.

Got to my folks' house. I was climbing out of the car when it hit me and I mean it HIT me. BAM I had to GO. So I went :-)

I'm thinking it was a symbolic thing. I was just marking where I was going to stay for a few days, that's all :-)

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Been reading online that Jarhead isn't the greatest of war movies. Most folks are complaining about it's very anti-war message. That's sort of the rage in Hollywood of course and has been for a LONG time. Prior to that you had a whole lot of war movies that while were more positive, were totally unrealistic. They were more like adventure movies set DURING a war.

If you want a middle ground, a good war movie that doesn't get all freaky with the anti-war message, get a copy of The Big Red One. It's been out on DVD for a while now and it follows the exploits of a 1st Infantry squad during WWII. Hey, it's got Lee Marvin and Mark Hamill in it so how can you go wrong eh?

One of my favorite spots in the movie is the Normandy landing. Sam Fuller shows the world that you can depict the landing of Normandy and not traumatize the audience the way Speilburg did. Yes, you get a full sense of the danger and tension but you get it without seeing people turned into jello by high powered weaponry.

So, when you're in the mood for a good war movie, check out The Big Red One. You'll love it.

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A Little Drama

Currently Reading: The Big Red One by Samuel Fuller

Well, by now most of you have heard about my "procedure" from CC's site. I'll give just the basics for now and then post the rest when I get home or when I have a little more energy. At the moment my energy comes and goes but I know people have been asking about me so I decided to blog today from my recovery room.

First off though, damn, I am WAY too young to be having gall stones. No, seriously, you see this happening on TV and it's always to some old guy. Not supposed to do this at 35. Grrrrr.

So here's what happened. Wednesday morning I had the attack. Hurt like hell. In fact, it hurt so bad that I actually considered going to see a doctor. And when the pain never really went away, I figured that's what I'd do. Pain like this tells you that something is just not right and it's not going to get better. I called CC and told her to come home. I went downstairs, met her in the parking lot, and off we went to the hospital.

Hours later, after several tests and bleedings, they came in and told me I had gall stones. They asked if I had a doctor of my own and I said no so they got one for me. He had a look and said they had to come out. They'd said as much anyway. What he added though was that the gall bladder needed to come out too. It was only a matter of time. And since the surgery was about the same anyway, I might as well have it done while I was there.

Had it done Thursday afternoon. Spent Friday recovering. Saturday I had to check 0ut. I would have preferred to stay. It was convenient being there. Someone checked on me all the time. Meals were provided. CC didn't have to worry so much. I suppose I could have stayed but I would have had to pay for it. Insurance will only cover so much.

Instead of going home, we came to my parents' house. They have smaller dogs plus someone will be here most of the time. This makes CC feel much better which is what's most important to me. Hell all I really need is a bed to lay in to recover so I can sleep it off. The rest puts CC's mind at ease. Everyone wins.

Kinda funny though. Here I am right back where I was this time last year. Same house, same room even. Of course, the furniture and stuff has changed.

Naturally, thanks to my parents for letting me stay. Sure does help us out. And thanks to everyone who's been asking about me. Feels good to be missed :-) And a big thanks to CC's office, which sent me a HUGE flower/plant arrangment. And also, extra thanks to those folks at the hospital who took care of me the past few days.

But the biggest thanks goes to CC. There's no way in hell I could have made it through all that without her help. There aren't words to express how thankful I am for her :-)

With any luck, I'll be back soon. I'm making progress. I have a bit more energy. Not as sore. I'll get back to blogging and I'll give you all the details. Should provide a little entertainment :-)
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Too Nice For Monday; Dog Snuggles; Mistress CC

Currently Reading: Hard-Boiled Wonderland And The End Of The World by Haruki Murakami

What a waste of a really nice day. Seriously, it's got to be about the perfect weather outside right now. We have sunny skies. Warm, not hot. Nice breeze but not a wind. Very nice for doing something outside. I know it won't last because I've seen the weather reports but it sure is nice to look at while it lasts :-)

Will I go out there and enjoy it? Well no, not really. I mean, yes, I've been out already with the dogs and we took our usual, long route. Later today I'll take them out again and we'll take the same long route but that's about all I have planned for outside. Too much stuff to do inside.

On the plus side, I am able to open up the apartment so I do get to enjoy it a little bit. And from time to time, while waiting for files to upload or sheets to dry, I can go outside and sit a bit in the wind with the dogs.

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Speaking of dogs, Katya felt like snuggling today. This is unusual for her. She likes to stretch out and take up as much of the bed as possible. And she never seems to be able to lay in one position long enough for good snuggling. But this morning, I wake up and she's just like a stuffed animal; a large, furry, snoring stuffed animal :-)

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CC's playing dress-up today at work. Yes, it's time for the annual Halloween costume day. All across America you see clowns walking though parking lots and vampires driving down the highway. As if we needed more weirdness in the morning :-)

CC's dressed as a vampire . . . sort of. We were doing the fangs this morning and unfortunately she didn't get them in in time for the glue stuff to hold. It dried too quick. SO I suggested denture adhesive. She looks at me and without even saying, "honey?" I went and got dressed. Off I go to the drug store. Got back and we both tried fangs and fixadent. Didn't work though, darn it. That left CC a bit disappointed but you know what? She looks super anyway :-)

I told her, "being a vampire is like 90% mental" :-) And when you think about it, it is. Let's face it, in vampire movies, most of the time the vampire only shows fangs right before it bites someone.

She went to work sans fangs and not nearly as upset as she had been. Her costume provoked a few looks but not as much as last year's. I think it's probably because she's wearing a more NORMAL costume that you'd see on Halloween. Last year was just one HUGE stroke of luck. She went as Sadako, the girl from the Japanese version of The Ring. This was right after The Grudge played in theaters so the whole evil-Japanese-spirit thing was still fresh on people's minds.

I told her later that she looks almost like a gothic dominatrix. Maybe we could just make a slight adjustment to the costume and make it work. All she needs is a riding crop and some handcuffs and she's all set :-)

Have a happy Halloween!

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The End of Summer; Halloween; Slow Days; Getting My Hour Back

Currently Reading: Hard-Boiled Wonderland And The End Of The World by Haruki Murakami

Well it's now official: summer is over. I know, you're all looking at me like I'm crazy, but for me, summer doesn't really end until after The World Series. The October Classic is sort of a lingering thread of summer no matter what the weather is like outside.

It was a pretty good series this year . . . unless you were a Houston fan, of course :-) Hell I'm a Yankees fan and I enjoyed it. Yes, my team got their clocks cleaned earlier than I'd hoped but taht sort of thing happens. Besides, I'm also a Dallas Cowboys fan so I'm used to inconsistant performances by sports stars :-)

But now the series is over. No more baseball until spring. The great convergance of professional sports is now complete. All that remains are football, basketball and hockey. Actually down here you can pretty much count out hockey too. Now that the NHL has signed their contract with Outdoor Life Channel the only games I ever get are the Nashville games. I'd much rather see the east coast teams or maybe Chicago.

Time to put up the ball and glove, hang the baseball team hats in the rack and dig out the Spurs hats to replace them.

Maybe next year the Yankees will be in the series again. And maybe A-Rod won't choke. We'll see :-)

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Halloween is right around the corner and I must say it is wonderful to see actual horror movies playing both on TV and in the movies again. For the past several years it seems like no one wanted to bother with Halloween. Kids here don't even really trick or treat very much. Yes, I can understand we're in the Bible belt, and the Baptist bible belt at that. Those folks seem to think just about everything leads to devil worship. But that doesn't explain the absence of horror movies on TV and in the theaters.

This year it's been noticably different. Now it seems like several channels are actually going out of their way to show horror films and that's just great. That's how it should be. When you get to Halloween, the last few days right before it, you should be able to turn on your TV and pick a channel and find something freaky, and I don't mean on CNN or FOX :-)

Well let's face it, the news is scary enough. This time of year I want to see some good escapism horror. People getting eaten by giant animals or being posessed by ghosts or chased by some crazy guy carrying lawn tools. That's what this season is all about :-)

Just remember what happens next. In 4 days the stores will have taken down every last bit of Halloween merchandise and you KNOW what they're going to fill it with. That's right, the two months of Christmas are coming. So let's enjoy the harmless frights while we can :-)

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Last few days have been slow around here. Ever since I got that frame up things have been going rather well. Not that I'm against things going well mind you, but when things go well I don't have much to blog about. No, that's not true. When things go well, I only have POSITIVE things to blog about and let's face it, I make MUCH better jokes about the negative and stupid things people do :-)

So if the blog entries get short for a while (yeah right like that's going to happen) or if they stop for a few days (possible) that just means things are going well and the result would be a BORING blog entry and who wants to read that? They're already long, I don't want them to be dull too :-)

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And finally, this weekend we all get our hour back. That's right, the hour that those viscious bastards in the government stole from us back in the spring is being given back. So let's all do something fun for that hour. I don't care what it is, just take an hour on Sunday and do something fun. Play a game or watch a movie (a really short movie) or hell, do what I like to do, sleep :-) Just so long as you don't waste that hour by doing something stupid like work. Don't give them jerks in the government the satisfaction of using your hard-earned hour by working. I mean it, I'll be checking up on you. There will be a quiz aftewards :-)

Have fun!

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I Hate Waiting Rooms; Night Games; Framed Part 2

Currently Reading: Hard-Boiled Wonderland And The End Of The World by Haruki Murakami

I guess it shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that I hate waiting rooms. I think most people hate them in fact. That's something you never hear anyone say at a party.

"I just LOVE waiting rooms! I sometimes actually go to the doctor's office or the Department of Motor Vehicles JUST so I can sit in hard chairs and read old magazines."

Ok, maybe if that person had a LOT to drink? No, I'm pretty sure you'd actually pass out before it came to that.

I figure doctors' waiting rooms are the worst. That includes emergency rooms and minor medical clinics too but excludes psychiatrist offices.

The problem with a doctor's waiting room isn't so much the old, boring magazines. The real problem is the other people waiting. Think about this the next time you're at the clinic: What do you really know about the person sitting across from you? Hell for all you know they could have the plague! You're sitting there, with your book, waiting, and the person in the next seat is paler than the bad tile on the floor, they're shivering and yet also sweating buckets. THEN, just to make you even more paranoid, they sneeze.

And then there's the faker. You've seen this person I'm sure. This person is always ahead of you of course, so as to make you wait even LONGER. The faker is the person with unlimited insurance coverage and REALLY low self esteem. So low in fact that they'll fake injuries just for the attention. True story, I saw this myself the other day waiting for CC. There's a woman waiting to see a doctor. She's wearing just one shoe. Supposedly, the other foot is injured. Only problem is, she can't seem to remember which leg she's supposed to limp with. She gets up and limps over to the counter, then going back to her chair she limps using the OTHER leg. At one point she's standing on one foot . . . the BAD one.

Now, I excluded psychiatric visits from the normal waiting rooms because that's just fun. Admit it, you sit there with the other people. Same bad magazines. Same bad chairs. The difference is, it's a hell of a lot more fun trying to figure out what's wrong with people. Even harder, you have to figure out who's actually there to SEE the doctor because some of the people are just family or friends.

So, who's there to see the shrink? Is it the obviously augmented blond? Maybe she's really a psychopathic serial killer who picks up men at stripper bars. Or maybe it's that quiet little guy over there in the corner. Maybe he thinks he's Marilyn Monroe or Napoleon. See what I mean? That's a LOT more fun than worrying that you're going to go home with even MORE illnesses than you started with :-)

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You know, I bet Major League Baseball is re-thinking their call to start last night's game so late. You'd think they'd have learned from the mistakes of football. If you start a game at 8 pm it's going to drag on into the wee hours of the morning. The NFL once tried starting games at 7 or 7:30 and miracle of miracles, they were over at a decent hour! Oh sure the people on the West Coast complained about the game being half over when they got home, but the rest of us actually got to see the end of it for a change.

Baseball games are even more dangerous. There's no tie in baseball. You play until the game is over and that could be a pretty damn long time. Remember that Houston game that ran 18 innings? That's enough for a double-header. And then there was last night's marathon game. I suppose it makes perfect sense that the first ever World Series game held in Texas was also the longest one. Everything's bigger in Texas right?

I shared a theory of mine with CC during that game. She woke up for no apparent reason right as the 9th inning was ending. Anyway, my theory about exra inning baseball is this: Fans are fine for 3 more innings. After that, their energy drops off quickly. I was watching the crowds during last night's game and it fit quite well. Innings 10-12, the crowd was on their feet a LOT. They were cheering, shouting, all the things they'd been doing the rest of the game. Come inning 13, everyone's sitting back down. People are yawning. Hell the PLAYERS were yawning.

Game finally ended some time after 1 am. I'm sure there are quite a few frustrated Houston fans. Suddenly their baseball team is playing just like their football team. For that matter, you could say the Astros are playing like ALL of the previous football teams in Houston. They're quite well known for choking when it comes to the playoffs. Maybe there's something in the water down there :-)

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The frame is done, FINALLY. Put the last touches on it this morning. I actually had it up yesterday but the top part shifted a bit when I nailed it in leaving pretty big gaps at each end. It was easy to adjust that. Just took a few smacks with the hammer and all done. Here's the end result:



Not bad eh?

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Just a friendly reminder that it's fall. Last year around this time we were in the mountains in Gatlinburg. Looked a bit like this:



Sure would be nice to be there now, just relaxing and enjoying the view :-)

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